Can't touch this.

LCARS - I have some presents for you they are up in my... bum.

LCARS is a very good basis for a windows manager. I now know this because I am an idiot...

Let me explain.

I have a laptop sitting to one side of me for the express purpose of watching DivX on or idling on EVE Online and or occasionally using IM or checking my mail (or looking up a cheat if I'm honest) when I am playing a game or otherwise engaged on my main boxen 'full screen'.

I am a digital nobody, furthermore, I'm amazingly lazy.

The lappy is 1500mhz or there abouts with no battery and runs Ubuntu or XP depending on if I actually have to do anything with it or if I am just showing off. You know what I mean (and don't pretend you don't).

Once you run Ubuntu on something and get it how you like it you begin to realise how awful stock Windows XP looks. I usually use Xoblite over XP... so I've not seen *doze in it's raw form for some time previous to the installation of this laptop recently - but usage of the box in question doesn't warrant me really setting Xoblite up - it's a pain, I'm lazy.

XP is however, regardless of my apathy, revolting. It bugged me so much eventually I was reluctant to turn the machine on.

I'm an uber geek, I know.

So the other morning I dug out my trusty copy of 'Autoplay Menu Studio 3' (is there anything it can't do??) and made myself an auto loading Windows LCARS (that's the pretty computer displays from Star Trek The Next Generation, in case you didn't know that) interface for the laptop; it does everything I want it to, sits there, looks hot and makes the beepy beepy noises (just like on the show).

I am expecting incoming communications from Star Fleet Command any day now.

Man am I cool or what? :/

This brings me neatly to 'Star Trek: Bridge Commander'. What a great excuse to sit in your office chair and hurl abuse at imaginary characters! My girlfriend nearly wet herself watching me sitting in my chair making the hand actions and screaming the following at what is essentially still just my computer...

"Bothered. Delivering supplies is dull, can I be a privateer?"

"Fire you retard, fire!"

"Congratulations you just missed with that entire torpedo spread. Report to the nearest airlock for decompressing."

"Shut up and just engage the warp drive, k thanks."

"Send him a quantum torpedo right up his ass lieutenant."

The bridge of the Enterprise was never like that... For better or worse?

In other news, due to such Star Trek related merriment my business partner publicly thinks I am going mad; but secretly he still knows I'm the shit.

Stay tuned, for such... and more.

Mouthwash, The Breen and a strange sense of accomplishment.

Yesterday I finally finished watching Deep Space 9 all the way through. Over the last 6 months I have watched all seven seasons in -order- whenever I have had the chance - usually at night before I finally pass out. I guess everyone needs a hobby. Watching the lot, in the correct order, has left me with a strange sense of accomplishment I have to say – more so than pervously having done this with nine season of Stargate SG-1. Although quite what I actually accomplished during either of these periods in my life I am not entirely sure.

I know the urge to start a blog was forthcoming though.

Also, I now consider the Breen the intergalactic equivalent of "Sooty".

Hiding behind the Vorta – never actually coming out and saying it.

Just like the little yellow twat and Mr Corbit.


Either that or some menacing space Skippy – “What was that Mr Breen, the Federation are attacking the system along the asteroid belt? Get help now?!”

Open office thinks “twat” is a spelling mistake.

I'll leave you with this comforting thought; my mouth wash, or so it informs me on the bottle, has been tested by dentists. Which is good because had they got, say, ornithologists to do it it would have been a complete waste of time. I was almost worred for a moment.

No really.