Friday, 21 September 2007

Is the race to complete a working spaceship propulsion system on?

There has oddly been quite a lot in the media of late about new and interesting spaceship engine/propulsion designs – now the only reason this is odd is because I wasn't aware given the so called 'global war on terror' and general climate of doom and gloom that we (are lead to believe we) all live in that space exploration was top of anyone's agenda. Or is it?

Earlier this week we saw a Californian physicist Dr. Young Bae had actually gone as far as to build a demonstration "photonic laser thruster" (1) that, and I quote "produces enough thrust to micro-manoeuvre a satellite". Scaled up such an engine could apparently speed a spacecraft to Mars in less than a week. That's pretty impressive stuff (the phrase “massive leap in technology” would not be out of place...) for something that has moved beyond theory and into working prototype wouldn't you say? Not something that should say, be glossed over in the international media and only make it into the techiest of tech blogs on the internet?

Today we get more news on yet another U.S firm having created an innovative propulsion system, this one nuclear fuelled (2), again using the Earth to Mars model as a point of reference - this time speculating a rather less impressive two years to six month travel time. These are not the only media references to an ambiguous “manned mission to Mars” to float around in the last 6 months. Far from it.

So, what is up with all this?

Why is someone in the U.S funding such programs in the face of what I'd describe as more 'apparent dangers' and more pressing needs - when we are constantly being told that economic factors hold man's thrust into space, in particular back to Moon – despite proven lunar mineral assets (3) back? You can't tell me either of the prototypes mentioned here (or the countless others that no doubt exist, even if just on paper around the USA today) or even the experiments to justify them in the first place were cheap. Why would such be developed unless, somewhere, behind some door there is an actual formulated, if embryonic, plan to actually go to Mars for whatever reason in the very near future.

Governments don't tend to fund making things unless they intend to use them in the short term; fact of life.

These theory's ask more questions than they answer; but they are food for thought. If we are going to Mars. Why... and perhaps more importantly. Why now? (Que conspiracy theorists).




Rapper The Game claims he is the police, the hip hop police.

US rapper The Game has appeared in court after being charged with impersonating a police officer.

Police said the star told a cab driver he was an undercover officer in 2006, ordering him to run several red lights.

Digital Nobody says;

Which is all great in principle until you realise that the dude has two quite large tattoo's on his face, one of which which reads "LA" gang style, and that he in fact claims to have told the cab driver he was with "the hip hop police" not as the BBC article would initially have you believe, the police department. A case of retarded cab driver gets over excited - followed by retarded media follows suit I feel.

On a more inspirational note the next time I am in a cab in a hurry I am gonna claim that I am with the 'hip hop police' (department of 'criminal rhymes?'); if it gets 'em to go faster I say why not. I suggest you all do the same.

'God' apparently responds to lawsuit.

A legislator who filed a lawsuit against God has gotten something he might not have expected: a response. One of two court filings from "God" came Wednesday under otherworldly circumstances, according to John Friend, clerk of the Douglas County District Court in Omaha.

"This one miraculously appeared on the counter. It just all of a sudden was here — poof!" Friend said.

Digital Nobody says;

I think someone is having a laugh with some retards. But then again I could be wrong. But honestly, what kind of diety responds to civil law actions with anything other than a sound smiting?

Thursday, 20 September 2007

Best quote evah.

[upparoom] So this chick I know is suing her Birth Control maker
[upparoom] She started taking it and gained a bunch of weight.
[upparoom] She went from a size 5 to a size 22 and lost most of her hair.
[upparoom] I'm thinking...
[upparoom] thats some pretty damn effective birth control..


1 In 33 Teens Admit Trying Meth. Photo or it didn't happen.

A new survey shows that one in 33 U.S. teens has tried meth, nearly a quarter say it would be easy to get meth, and some see benefits to meth use.

The survey included about 2,600 students aged 12-17 at 43 public, private, and parochial junior and senior high schools nationwide. The margin of error is on average +/- 2 percentage points.

During class last spring, the students completed the confidential surveys about methamphetamine (meth) use.

The results show that most teens haven't tried meth. But many say they could get meth pretty easily if they tried.

Digital Nobody says;

That's only 32 in 33 to go then! Meth ftw! Tweak, tweak, tweak!

Seriously though 1 in 33 teens prolly claim to have banged a lap dancer as well, a further 1 in 33 probably claim to be real life paranormal investigators or laughingly 'admit' to be Jedi Knights. Just because someone "admits" to something on a faceless survey dished out my "the man" doesn't mean that it actually happened.

Further more, they surveyed a pathetic 2,600 students in total for this bullshit. Great. I know a multitude of camwhores with more people on their Myspace. Lets get them to take the same survey - it'd be no less relevant, I wonder how many Myspaz stalkers have tried meth and if it's any more than 1 in 33? Tards.

Aside from the limited pool of people taking the survey, the fact none of the claims have been verified rings alarm bells with me in terms of CBS publishing the “results” of this survey as anything other than a complete waste of time.

Again as with so many things in modern life the internet shows us a fantastic way of verifying such claims that perhaps those who dish out these lame ass surveys should adopt; Photo or it didn't happen.

That's how we do shit.

Saw IV - What in the holy fuck.

In Soviet Russia, the DHS control your mind.

The future of U.S. anti-terrorism technology could lie near the end of a Moscow subway line in a circular dungeon-like room with a single door and no windows. Here, at the Psychotechnology Research Institute, human subjects submit to experiments aimed at manipulating their subconscious minds.

A dungeon-like room in the Psychotechnology Research Institute in Moscow is used for human testing. The institute claims its technology can read the subconscious mind and alter behavior.

Elena Rusalkina, the silver-haired woman who runs the institute, gestured to the center of the claustrophobic room, where what looked like a dentist's chair sits in front of a glowing computer monitor. "We've had volunteers, a lot of them," she said, the thick concrete walls muffling the noise from the college campus outside. "We worked out a program with (a psychiatric facility) to study criminals. There's no way to falsify the results. There's no subjectivism."

The Department of Homeland Security (DHS) has gone to many strange places in its search for ways to identify terrorists before they attack, but perhaps none stranger than this lab on the outskirts of Russia's capital. The institute has for years served as the center of an obscure field of human behavior study -- dubbed psychoecology -- that traces it roots back to Soviet-era mind control research.

Click for Moar...

Random pic of the day.

Resident Evil: Extinction, September 21st.

I liked the first two. Zombies are cool. This looks like Land Of The Dead a bit. But lets face it, Land Of The Dead was pretty poor - so things can only get better.

Review to follow.

In bizarre twist of fate Florida veterinarian extracts 7-inch toy rubber lizard from real lizard.

Seven-year-old Finley Collins thought her pet 12-inch bearded dragon might be giving birth when she noticed an unusual protrusion near the lizard's tail.

But Finley's father, Jeff Collins, feared it might be something more ominous and rushed Mushu to an animal hospital, where a veterinarian pulled out a 7-inch toy rubber lizard.

"I've never extracted a lizard from another lizard before," said veterinarian John Rossi.

Rossi had sedated Mushu and pulled on the protrusion.

"The next thing I knew, I was seeing legs and a body and a head. It was very strange to be tugging on this thing," he said.

By the time the rubbery lizard's legs began to appear, Rossi realized what it was.

"We were all laughing," he said. "It passed completely through the entire (gastrointestinal) tract," Rossi said.

Rossi said bearded dragons, a variety of Australian lizards, often swallow such things as small suction cups, screws and dimes.

This is just too wierd.

Army Overlords Demonstrate Pain Ray On Insolent Journalist.

Slashdot Says;

Fantastic Lad writes to tell us that journalist Michael Hanlon recently got the opportunity to experience the Army's new not-so-secret weapon, dubbed "Silent Guardian". The Silent Guardian is essentially (even though the creators prefer you not refer to it as such) a ray gun, emitting a focused beam of radiation similar to your microwave tuned to a specific frequency to stimulate human nerve endings. "It can throw a wave of agony nearly half a mile. Because the beam penetrates skin only to a depth of 1/64th of an inch, it cannot, says Raytheon, cause visible, permanent injury. But anyone in the beam's path will feel, over their entire body, the agonizing sensation I've just felt on my fingertip. The prospect doesn't bear thinking about. "

Digital Nobody Says;

Who'd volunteer to have a "pain ray" fired at them? Isn't that traditionally what mice and dogs are for in demonstrations of weirdly sci-fi esq military tech? I can imagine the office of the journo that morning, the editor pipes up "Ok guys, the army have some kinda' non-lethal weird ray gun that causes pain... who wants to go get shot?"

As an aside I bet they are having uber amounts of fun with this down on the coast at Gitmo!

Gitmo - where the real tests and demonstrations were made!

Wednesday, 19 September 2007

Zeroes - I laughed so much I pee'd a bit. No honestly.

Star Wars: The Musical

Chat Like A Pirate.

Karate Party doesn’t go in for all the actual hard work of dressing up like a pirate, or running away to sea. No, we are all about the Internet. If we cannot put it online, then we do not want to hear about it. So when we say ‘chat like a pirate’ we actually mean type like a pirate, and we say ‘like a pirate’ we mean like a pirate that is on the Internet. We don’t mean pirates in the music stealing sense of the word either. In fact what we really mean is Karate Party will teach you to chat like a Pirate might chat on the Internet if that pirate was to use the language principles of leet speak.

Finally we get to use the Wiimote for its intended purpose - as a lightsaber.

So what if the Wii cannot handle the awesome 'next-generation' physics engine the other consoles will enjoy when Star Wars: The Force Unleashed is released. It gets duel mode! DUEL MODE! LucasArts announced today that Krome Studios is developing a version of the game for the Nintendo console, and players will finally get to use the Wiimote for its intended purpose - as a lightsaber.

With the Wiimote saber and the nunchuk controlling force powers, I'll be hard pressed to choose which console to pick the game up for. Adding to my inner turmoil is the aforementioned duel mode, which lets you take your friends in one on one Jedi battles to the death! I am so completely geeking out right now it isn't funny. You guys read the press release, I'm going to need a moment.

This could be all of us soon.

The Star Trek Deep Space 9 Drinking Game!

This is classic...

Before the show starts, everyone picks a character. Everytime the character you picked gets into a confrontation, conflict, or fight, take a drink.

Plus take a drink whenever:

  • Something isn't working properly on the station.
  • Anyone says 'DS9' as the name of the space station.
  • Violence breaks out on the promenade ring.
  • The wormhole is shown/opens (this includes the opening credits).
  • The station is shown from outside.
  • The 'cog' airlocks are used/operated.
  • Any door is seen opened manually (if it's a 'cog', take two).
  • Somebody mentions Bajor (only one drink per line; any number during the scene).
  • Sisko threatens somebody.
  • Someone hits on Dax.
  • Odo is puzzled by humanoid behavior.
  • Garak uses clothing as a euphemism for something else.
  • Dr. Bashir suggests something patently unwise.

And then take a drink and do an action everytime:

  • Someone rides the elevator to/from the control room.
    Action: Say "going up?" or "going down?"
  • A shuttlecraft is shown.
    Action: Guess the name of the craft out loud.
  • Odo shapeshifts.
    Action: Say "Jell-O!".
  • O'Brien uses the transporters.
    Action: Nostalgic sigh.
  • Jake Sisko gets in trouble.
    Action: Say "Kids these days!".
  • Kira has a case of divided loyalties.
    Action: Put a drink in each hand and have a drink from both.
  • Quark is seen behind the bar.
    Action: Take a second drink, or have a shot of something stronger.

Plus, chug a whole beer when and if:

  • Someone from Star Trek: The Next Generation makes an appearance (members of the O'Brien family don't count, but secondary characters and extras if you can identify them absolutely do count)
  • Sisko backs down or knuckles under to someone else.
  • Odo does something intentionally humorous.
  • Dr. Bashir does something clever not related to medicine.
  • Dax gets into an amorous (sexual) encounter.
  • O'Brien is asked to jury-rig something to save the day and it doesn't work.
  • Quark does something selfless.

An average one hour episode consumes three beers per participant.

Make no mistake, this is how bad sci-fi starts.

Make no mistake, this is how bad sci-fi starts.

LIMA (AFP) - Villagers in southern Peru were struck by a mysterious illness after a meteorite made a fiery crash to Earth in their area, regional authorities said Monday.

Around midday Saturday, villagers were startled by an explosion and a fireball that many were convinced was an airplane crashing near their remote village, located in the high Andes department of Puno in the Desaguadero region, near the border with Bolivia.

Residents complained of headaches and vomiting brought on by a "strange odor," local health department official Jorge Lopez told Peruvian radio RPP.

Seven policemen who went to check on the reports also became ill and had to be given oxygen before being hospitalized, Lopez said.

Rescue teams and experts were dispatched to the scene, where the meteorite left a 100-foot-wide (30-meter-wide) and 20-foot-deep (six-meter-deep) crater, said local official Marco Limache.

"Boiling water started coming out of the crater and particles of rock and cinders were found nearby. Residents are very concerned," he said.

"Yarr... Cats."

It's International Talk Like A Pirate Day!

Let us begin this Interational Talk Like A Pirate Day yee scurvy sea dogs wit this here news:

Home torched by kids playing 'Pirates' game

A 16-year-old Bountiful girl and her 9-year-old relative accidentally torched their home Monday while acting out "Pirates of the Caribbean," fire officials said.

The fire broke out about 6 p.m. at the rental home where the family was living near 300 West and 3200 South, said South Davis Metro Fire Chief Jim Rampton.

The youths said they set fire to a map as part of their role-play, Rampton said.

"I don't know if that's something pirates do, if they burn the map after finding the treasure or something," he said. The fire caused about $30,000 in damage to the home.

Digital Nobody says;

Of course 'tis! Pirates love fire! Yarrr!

Tuesday, 18 September 2007

Jack Thompson Decides He's In GTA IV, Internet laughs.

Slashdot Says;

"Outspoken anti-games lawyer Jack Thompson has decided that a representation of a 2nd amendment lawyer in GTA IV is a mocking version of him. He has declared that if the representation is not removed he will attempt to block the release of the game. Excerpt from GamePolitics: 'The showcasing play of the game to Game Informer revealed that the first killing mission of the hero of the game, Niko, is to kill a certain lawyer. When Niko comes into this lawyer's office, having used subterfuge to do so, Niko pulls a gun on the lawyer who says, that the firm supports the second amendment and that 'Guns don't kill people. Video games do.'"

Digital Nobody Says;

Man this is funny. Summed up in this Slashdot post:

Dear Jack,

This story is progressing nicely across the net. Thank you for taking the bait and supplying us with the free advertisement. We couldn't have bought this much coverage for a million dollars.

Take Two Entertainment

Drumming Gorilla - FTW.

Everyone in the UK and or with Sky has prolly seen this but that isn't gonna stop me from posting it on the off chance that just one person who hasn't does. Great advert, and Phil Collins is the man.

The above site is also running an article on the advert here explaining the thinking behind it etc. All interesting shit. Phil Collins is getting well in on the product placement these days, first Vice City Stories now Cadbury's. Fair play.

Moar Jokes...

Inspired by the last post here are some jokes from my arsenal!


General Custer captures an Indian scout before the Battle of Little Big Horn, he's heard a lot about the skill of the scouts and decides to interrogate his prisoner.

"Ok savage," he says "You are going to tell me who is coming, what they are armed with and how many of them there are, understand?"

The Indian nods, and kneels on the floor, placing his ear to the ground he waits a moment before standing back up and speaking "Many Indians are coming, led by Crazy Horse, some are armed with bows, many with guns, 10,000 braves."

Custer is impressed "That's amazing" he says "How do you know that?"

The Indian looks Custer right in the eye "I can see them under the fence you stupid white man."


Sherlock Holmes and Doctor Watson lie in the middle of a field in the dead of night. Sherlock Holmes is the first to speak "I can see the stars, the moon... the wonder of all creation... do you know what this means Watson?"

Watson considers this "No Sir..."

Holmes replies "It means someone's stolen our tent you idiot."


The Lone Ranger and Tonto are riding through a deep valley when all of a sudden Apache braves appear on the road ahead, knowing when to fight and when to run, The Lone Ranger signals to turn about face.

More braves block the road behind them.

The Lone Ranger looks up, on the left and right of the valley high above, more braves armed with bows.

"Well Tonto... we've been through a lot together but I think we are for it here..."

Tonto looks back at The Lone Ranger "What do you mean 'we' - white man?".


Robin Hood lays on his death bed surrounded by his merry men, Little Jon steps forward and asks the question on all their lips “Robin, you've been a great leader to us all and you're dying here, is there any one last thing you wish? Anything at all?”

Robin manages to speak “Fetch me my favourite bow and a single arrow!” he says.

Little Jon does so.

Robin takes the bow and with his final burst of strength he proclaims “Where ever this arrow lands, I wish to be buried!” he lets the arrow go and dies then and there.

Little Jon looks up and scratches his beard... “In Will Scarlets chest?”

So, a guy walks into a bar...

No one knows when the first joke beginning with the six words "A guy walks into a bar . . ." was told, or how it went. Nevertheless, an entire genre of jokes has been created revolving around that opening scenario. Here's a sampling of some of the variants that have sprung up, many now involving animals or inanimate objects.

A load of "Guy walks into a bar..." jokes.

Best Joke

A penguin walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Has my father been in here?" The bartender says, "I don't know. What does he look like?"

"Whoa, Whoa... Whoa... This is not my batman mug."

Someone tries to sell Belgium on eBay.

Hidden among the porcelain fox hounds and Burberry tablecloths on sale at this week was an unusual item: "For Sale: Belgium, a Kingdom in three parts ... free premium: the king and his court (costs not included)."

The odd ad was posted by one disgruntled Belgian in protest at his country's political crisis which reached a 100-day landmark Tuesday with no end in sight to the squabbling between Flemish and Walloon politicians.

"I wanted to attract attention," said Gerrit Six, the teacher and former journalist who posted the ad. "You almost have to throw rock through a window to get attention for Belgium."

Six placed the advertisement on Saturday, offering free delivery, but pointing out that the country was coming secondhand and that potential buyers would have to take on over $300 billion (euro220 billion) in national debt.


What's even funier is that someone actually tried to buy it...

"Your Mum Did It."

We all love a good Tasering.


During a political rally at the University of Florida, a student described as "annoying" was tasered while attempting to ask Senator Kerry some questions regarding the 2004 election. I wish I could taser people I found annoying, that'd be fucking brilliant. Police are apparently "looking into" whether excessive force was used to prevent the student from going over his alloted question period.

Digital Nobody Says;

No excessive force here, I think tasering retards is perfectly legitimate way to quell free speech in a Police state. Also the cries of "Help, help, help" about 2 mins in are great and remind me of Monty Python; "Help, help I'm being repressed!" from the Holy Grial. Awesome. In all seriousness, when it gets to the stage you are going to get tasered by over zealous rent-a-cops, tip: shutup and get carried out. Or get tasered. Ultimately, it's your call.

"Now You Are Really Fucked."

"I Guess The Cats Are Off The Hook?!"

Trent Reznor Says "Steal My Music". Internet Says, "Ok."

Slashdot says;

"A few months ago, Trent Reznor (frontman of the band Nine Inch Nails), was in Australia doing an interview when he commented on the outrageous prices of CDs there. Apparently now his label, Universal Media Group is angry at him for having said that. During a concert last night, he told fans, '...Has anyone seen the price come down? Okay, well, you know what that means — STEAL IT. Steal away. Steal and steal and steal some more and give it to all your friends and keep on stealin'. Because one way or another these mother****ers will get it through their head that they're ripping people off and that's not right.'"

Digitial Nobody says;

Go NiN, it's my birthday...

/me goes and downloads their discography.

Wikipedia 'unusual' articles.

My business partner pointed this out to me the other day, when we were both avoiding actually doing any work, and it's kept me quite amused ever since - little things please little minds etc etc. Basically it's a link to a page which links on to all the wierd and wacky Wiki articles you'd probably never find otherwise. Wiki says:

"This page is for Wikipedians to list articles that seem a bit unusual. These articles are valuable contributions to the encyclopedia, but are somewhat odd, whimsical, or something you wouldn't expect to find in Encyclopædia Britannica. We should take special care to meet the highest standards of an encyclopedia with these articles lest they make Wikipedia appear idiosyncratic. If you wish to add articles to this list, a broad consensus amongst contributors has identified two main guidelines. If the article in question meets one or both of these categories then it could possibly be deemed unusual:

  1. The article is something you would not expect to find in a standard encyclopedia.
  2. The article contains some form of juxtaposition that most people would find unusual, e.g. "Killer Cockroach," "Henry VIII in Space," "edible computers," and so on.

Note that this is a broad definition. Some articles may still be considered unusual even if they don't fit the guidelines above."

And for example take:

Time Cube Theory, the mysterious 'Bloop' sound, the original Five-second rule, a whole page for the wonder that is the Spork, a rather curious page on Exploding animals and a facinating article regarding the noble art of Penis fencing.

Well worth checking out if you have a couple of days to spare.

Monday, 17 September 2007

Sarcasm Of The Day.

RenRen says:

you by any chance got a trivia bot stashed somewhere?

Digital Nobody says:
Why yes I keep one on a USB stick in my pocket at all times :|

Amazon lied.

It's more like 10 hours 50 mins, not including fag and tea breaks.

But I did it anyway.

I have to say that the extended versions are on the whole a shit load better than the original cuts - Return Of The King really pushes the limits of sanity at a staggering 4 hours and 9 mins though, too far? Perhaps.

Lots of the trilogy which never made much sense to me (having long ago forgotten the book) now actually fits into the storyline in my head though. For example, Samwise was actually tempted by the ring (the precious, not Frodo's... eww. There was never any doubt in my mind about the gayness of the hobbits), Golum was going to going to try and kill the "hobbit'z" from the last few mins of The Two Towers onwards, Saruman was killed and didn't just, as I had presumed, sulk in his tower for the entire Return Of The King. Shit like that.

All in all, don't bother with the original cuts and just watch the extended versions. They make sense. I might be the last person on Earth to come to that conclusion. I digress.

Now I suppose I had better at least pretend to do some work...

Sunday, 16 September 2007

9 hours 50 minutes of my life I give to you Peter Jackson.

Having recovered from Friday nights hangover and my girlfriends subsequent puking, then making up for the puking with head, I am about to watch the entire Lord Of The Rings extended trilogy in one sitting. It's highly likely I'll want to code a MUD or write a fantasy role play game by the time I'm done (which is quite handy in a way because I can do at least one of those things, legitimately, at work). For the record let me say; I have no inclination at this time, pre-watch, to do either of those things.

We'll see how long that lasts.

This can be an experiment on passive suggestion.

Yes, that's right, that's a good excuse.

Also, I wonder, just what extra stuff is in there; I've not seen the extended versions at all and haven't read anything specifically telling me so I guess it'll be a suprise.

Mordor awaits...

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