Tuesday, 18 September 2007

Moar Jokes...

Inspired by the last post here are some jokes from my arsenal!


General Custer captures an Indian scout before the Battle of Little Big Horn, he's heard a lot about the skill of the scouts and decides to interrogate his prisoner.

"Ok savage," he says "You are going to tell me who is coming, what they are armed with and how many of them there are, understand?"

The Indian nods, and kneels on the floor, placing his ear to the ground he waits a moment before standing back up and speaking "Many Indians are coming, led by Crazy Horse, some are armed with bows, many with guns, 10,000 braves."

Custer is impressed "That's amazing" he says "How do you know that?"

The Indian looks Custer right in the eye "I can see them under the fence you stupid white man."


Sherlock Holmes and Doctor Watson lie in the middle of a field in the dead of night. Sherlock Holmes is the first to speak "I can see the stars, the moon... the wonder of all creation... do you know what this means Watson?"

Watson considers this "No Sir..."

Holmes replies "It means someone's stolen our tent you idiot."


The Lone Ranger and Tonto are riding through a deep valley when all of a sudden Apache braves appear on the road ahead, knowing when to fight and when to run, The Lone Ranger signals to turn about face.

More braves block the road behind them.

The Lone Ranger looks up, on the left and right of the valley high above, more braves armed with bows.

"Well Tonto... we've been through a lot together but I think we are for it here..."

Tonto looks back at The Lone Ranger "What do you mean 'we' - white man?".


Robin Hood lays on his death bed surrounded by his merry men, Little Jon steps forward and asks the question on all their lips “Robin, you've been a great leader to us all and you're dying here, is there any one last thing you wish? Anything at all?”

Robin manages to speak “Fetch me my favourite bow and a single arrow!” he says.

Little Jon does so.

Robin takes the bow and with his final burst of strength he proclaims “Where ever this arrow lands, I wish to be buried!” he lets the arrow go and dies then and there.

Little Jon looks up and scratches his beard... “In Will Scarlets chest?”

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