Tuesday, 9 October 2007

Vista is just a massive donkey wang.

So my girlfriend gets a new computer a month ago, we buy it off the shelf in a high street store because, shit, it doesn't have to do much, run Firefox, run MSN generally not crash and Jesus H Christ I'd have a happy girlfriend. The new box is running Vista, so this makes me twitch a bit, a new operating system isn't something I want to expose someone who doesn't give two fucks about a box unless it “...just works” to but hell, it can't be that bad right?


No, clearly, I am an idiot. It CAN be that bad, and it is.



Since buying it, we've tried to install precisely three bits of large 3rd party software.


  1. SonicStage – would you believe that this lord of arse software is even worse on Vista, and about as stable as an alcoholic catholic priest at an all boys under twelve's sports day. On a hot day. Oh yes, the box says Windows Vista compatible. The Digital Nobody says: Bullshit.


  1. Command & Conquer - Tiberium Wars – I've tried to install this game, which me and the missus both enjoy playing on no less than three Windows Vista boxes, all of which seem to fail at the exact point irrespective of which patch you are running. Start a game, go to lay a power station, and b00m. Back looking at the intensely homosexual Windows Vista desktop. One word sums this up: Batty.


  1. LDC Theory Test CD - The final insult in many ways, after two evenings trying to find some one in holy hell of getting CnC 3 to run on Vista, fucking around with endless updates for this and updates for that and installing, uninstalling and reinstalling, my girfriend, sad little look on her face, admits defeat and resigns herself to having a go with her driving theory test CD. She puts it in the drive... and what a fucking surprise the machine locks up. I check the CD... Vista compatible it says. Like fuck says I. I stick it in an XP Box... It runs just fine.


In short: Windows Vista is a fucking disaster.


It's not just games that don't work correctly.


Nothing works correctly.


It's flawed.


It's rubbish.


It has angered me.


I am going to hit things.


I bid you all a good evening.


Except those wankfucks at Redmond. You'll get yours.

24 comments:

Alex Toronto CA said...

Do not let bad software make you angry. Your heart will remember.

JB said...

It's alright really. Subconciously you're feeling unskilled in front of your missus mate.

Happy Linux Guy said...

That's why they've extended the sales of XP for six more months. They'll probably end up extending it even more, later on. Vista is a steamy pile of horse shit. They should have called it Windows ME II.

Jack Alexander said...

Mistake Edition, too...very good. I'm advising against Vista as well. And I read that support for XP will be extended and has been at least once or twice already. A lot of computer vendors are selling Vista machines that have been 'wiped' and re-installed with XP lately. I almost put it on this machine and am glad now that I didn't. However XP is becoming identified by some 3rd party software as Vista Variants, due to recent updates and the software won't work with XP. One might consider foregoing updates and using 'outside' programs for system hardening and protection.

theorie said...

i'm not going to lie, i was critical of it at first, but i've learned to like vista. i installed a bootleg copy on my laptop and have had ZERO problems. i use a large catalog of software, and everything works perfect: all the adobe programs, nero, firefox/thunderbird, open office, filezilla, trillian, zune, quicktime, divx, bittorrent, dr. divx, smartripper, cdex, winrar, not to mention several (new and old) games.

i think you're doing something wrong, your you need to update your software. you're installing 3rd party software onto a newer operating system, what do you expect? the 3rd party developers need to catch up - that's not vista's fault.

Linux Pauling said...

Vista is simply "Digital Squeeze". Methinks MicroLimp was feeling competitive pressure from the resurgence of Apple and the comparisons between the very stable and usable OS X.x and the awkward Microlimp OS.

Since I am not a gamer, although some games are supported, the very stable and usable Ubuntu 7.04 Linux is very usable. It does not have all the supposed "bells and whistles" but it has one big advantage over Microlimp - it works, comes with Firefox already installed, has a very servicable Word Processor (Open Office 2.2), and is gaining increasing support. Oh, and it is free.

A Digital Nobody said...

I challenge anyone, to solve the CnC not working problem. The "Fucking Manual" has been read. Video card driver updated, no cd fix installed (in case it was copy protection fucking it up) and the game patched to the newest version... same crash. Bright ideas from the millions of trolls who think they know better accepted! I don't actually care who is right, I'd just like to play the goddamn game on the LAN, k thanks.

Anonymous said...

Have you tried running CnC in XP compatibility mode? Just a thought.

But, hey, I'm not wanting it work in Vista. The probs the better, as far as I'm concerned. I want that bloody mess off the market!

Anonymous said...

You can only blame yourself, the problem lies in the word that appears before Vista....Micosoft. I run windows xP Proffessional which is quite stable and well behaved providing you turn of all the spyware that comes with windows, remote desktop etc.

Anonymous said...

NO OS is perfect and will work with everything! Get over it. I bought a Dell laptop 6 months ago with Vista basic and run Dreamweaver, Flash Pro, Photoshop, Opera etc and haven't had a hiccup. Not once. After doing 7 years of Tech Support, my advice to gamers in general is to go outside once in a while.

Anonymous said...

The gov't and Microsfot do not care as long as MS makes profits and the gov't taxes those profits. After all, corporations and gov't are merely quid-pro-quo whorehouses sold to the highest bidder. When the gov't needs illegal wire-taps, Verizon and Sprint allow them secret rooms to listen in on calls. When Haliburton (and KBR) need more revenue, the gov't hands out no-bid contracts. When the gov't dislikes literature, Amazon and Wikipedia ban the book America Deceived (book). We The People had our gov't (and our PCs sold out from beneath us.

A Digital Nobody said...

Yup tried it in XP Compatability mode... only thing I can think of is that the video card isn't supported... but as i say, as long as I don't build a power plant the game words fine! So I dunno why that is...

geezer said...

Good some of you young bright, clued-up guys point an old 'un in the direction of 'Freedom Road'?

That's the Road to Linux, from what I've heard.

Anonymous said...

CnC works fine with linux+wine..

Kevin said...

No one remembers when XP shipped, the same shit was happening then. It take a few years for everything to catch up, this is nothing new. XP sucked forever until SP2 came out, now it's awesome. Vista will get there, it will just take a year or two.

My chief complaint about Vista (and yes, I have been using it successfully since day one) is that the driver model has changed somewhat again orphaning HW. This is also not MS's fault per se, but no one wants to write drivers for discontinued HW on new OS's these days. (also, never come out of hibernate on your laptop, XP SP1 beta seems to be helping.)

Anyway, there are tons of security enhancements in Vista which run like shit on current HW. In two years when quad-cores are common and directX 10 is in full swing, you'll see a massive difference.

The fact is folks, new shit will be coming out every few years forever. If you want to screw around with an increasingly outdated Linux Kernel, be my guest! :-)

For the record, I never ran ME, as Windows 2000 Pro was close at hand and was very stable. Vista is not ME II, but Vista does have a lot of the issues IE 4.01 and the Active desktop introduced back in the day. I turn all of that shit off and my machine looks (and behaves) much like XP did.

woody188 said...

"only thing I can think of is that the video card isn't supported"

That would be my guess. Does the power plant use some type of smoke effect that would require at least a DX9 compatible card?

Anonymous said...

"only thing I can think of is that the video card isn't supported"

That would be my guess. You would need at least a DX9 native card with 128MB RAM onboard.

I use Vista as a DVR and nothing else. Little has been said about Media Center included with Vista Home Premium, but it works pretty well, other than those pesky hibernation and sleep issues.

I use OSX, Linux (SUSE) and WinXP on my main laptops and desktops.

A Digital Nobody said...

I can't get to the machine at the moment to check... but it was an Intel something or other - it may not be supported by back compatability of DX10 to DX9 on Vista. I've tried installing CnC3 on a card 'not compatible' (not good enough) video card setups before (on XPSP2), setup warned me that it couldn't continue.

Other than that I've tried to install CnC3 (at LAN parties) on two other Vista boxes and had the same problem - both were laptops though, DX10 problems on obscure/slightly shit graphics cards seem likely.

You are probably onto something, I have a spare video card laying around I expect so I will give it a shot with a different card as soon as I get a moment.

Thanks for the help, the "smoke effect" thing when up my flag pole because you are well right in retrospect!

Cheers, constructive help on a blog post? It's the end of the internets!

Draconis said...

Format your harddrive and reinstall XP. I recommend TinyXP platinum edition as it has just about all the updates, has an extremely tiny footprint in the harddrive, runs *very* fast, and automatically validated. It's been a joy to use compared to the behemoth install that came with the computer originally and is now my install of choice. Google it and you should find links to it quickly.

Anonymous said...

theorie said...
'the 3rd party developers need to catch up - that's not vista's fault.'
It should be 'the 3rd party developers need to PAY up (to M$)' just like the rest of us.

Bob said...

Get a Mac, they "just work"!!

DigitalSpy said...

Reply to Theorie

You have got to be joking. You are blaming third party developers who have a working and functional product running on Windows XP because their software doesn't work on Vista?
I guess you are also in full support of the lack of backward file compatibility in many M$ products - forcing users into costly upgrade cycles that are completely unnecessary.
MicroSoft is completely at fault here for rreleasing a sub-par OS with numerous documented compatibility issues.
Where you actually commenting or just enunciating a fart?

Anonymous said...

My computer died a few months back. I ordered one from Dell and they would not give me XP. I tried Vista for one month and finally ate the warranty and scrubbed Vista, put XP back on and am lovin' it! Vista is a total piece of shit! I called Dell and they would give me a copy of XP for another $200. I wrote a letter to Mr. Billionaire Gates and told him a thing or two. Never got a response! I guess us little people aren't worth the effort.

Anonymous said...

I have been running vista home premium on my laptop for about four months now and I haven't had a single problem or complaint. I have been on multiple networks, running various games, Adobe creative suite, firefox, final draft, and more, without encountering any compatibility issues, crashes and only the occasional chug. It may not be a huge step forward from XP but so far I have found it to be attractive and has a ton of fun little bells and whistles. Also, the security features are MOST welcome after the leaky siv that was XP. I don't really care if I have to click a few more boxes, I like to know that my computer is protected.

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